“Parents must want the new human creature in the same way that the Creator wants him, for himself” This was one of the greatest invitations and teachings of John Paul II. What does it mean? To be parents is essentially to receive a gift that gives a new prospect love, understood from the lens of reciprocal generosity and gift of self.
Of all the privileges and responsibilities granted to human beings, parenthood is one of the most solemn and far-reaching. There is no high paying job can compare being a parent to our children. It is powerful, because it influences children as they face the issues of earthly life. Each child decides his or her own destiny, but as parents they influence that momentous decision. Parenting demands our highest abilities, our noblest attention, and our richest investment of time and effort.
Parents who did not perform their responsibilities properly, being neglectful and view their offspring as interference in the course of their lives, a hindrance to the pursuit of career or an obstacle to their fun. Giving corrections only when they are irritated, blaming their children for all the mistakes which comes to their lives. Author quotes them as an “impossible parent” and it develop no positive relationships among their children. They suffer from low self-esteem because they do not feel valued by their parents. They also feel insecure because the absence of limits and standards breeds insecurity.
Parenthood start collapsing when you start telling them what they need to do, what they need to wear and what they need to eat. You decide and control them because you believe that you want the best for them not knowing that you started killing their freedom to choose. . But “when we consult our children about issues that symbolize nurturance like food, we put them in the lead.” That triggers an innate psychological response, and their survival instincts activate: “They don’t feel taken care of and they start taking the alpha role.”
Some parents are authoritative, children have no choice but to follow the rules set on them by their father or mother. They became insensitive to the needs and feelings of their children, and thus these needs remain unattended. While other tries to impose rules and breaks it and expect that their offspring will not follow their steps. They teach no standards of right and wrong.
We cannot blame each children who suffered from different problems because parents are not responsible for their mistakes, they keep on creating a rejected home atmosphere and no wonder why their children passed this behavior from generation to generation. They are self-centered parents lacking of motivations to change their life situation, repeating same behavior without knowing that their children suffers a lot once they become adult.
Being an impossible parent will not guarantee a good life to our children but it adds misery in their lives. Try to be sensitive to our children needs and feelings. Teach them with love and compassion, be a good example and let them copy your good pattern because children learn from what they saw and frequently observed.